Badpie Bakery

For Those of You Who Think Your Commute Sucks

There are few things I hate more than being SHOVED onto a train.  But it happens in New York.  People tend to try to squeeze in where there is no room and it's one of my pet peeves.  I personally feel like it's worth it to wait two more minutes for the next train, which will most likely be empty because every ass clown in the universe shoved themselves onto one car.  I have seen it so crowded people pass out, get into fights, get touched inappropriately (I myself am fairly certain I've dry humped several people on the train by accident), someone farts and the entire car starts gagging, or your face ends up in someone's armpit or your crotch ends up in someone's face.

I thought New York was bad?  Wow.  Remind me not to go to Japan.  These folks are SERIOUS about getting to work on time.  At first I thought this video was fake, and then I realized they were Japanese and since Japan is a weird fucking place, well... this is normal I guess.

Fuck You, Penguin

So Matt found this awesome website called Fuck You, Penguin and it's basically just some dude being really pissed off at animals for being cute.  It is the awesome.  Here is the very first post.

   

GODDAMMIT penguin. You think you are SO FUCKING CUTE. I'll show you, penguin. Maybe not today. But soon, penguin. Watch your adorable fucking back...

Archie McPhee

So Sarah and Jay sent us a bunch of silly gifts from the Archie McPhee website and they were so awesome I had to share.  Our favorite silly little tidbit was the "Horrified B-Movie Victims" as seen here.

 

I mean WHAT?!  That's awesome!  Check it out for silly things which are fun fun fun.  Huzzah.  Thanks, Hydebergers!

Maru!

OMG. OMG. OMG.  Maru, the kitty that loves boxes has his very own blog!

It's glorious and so very Japanese!

OMG LOOK AT HIS FACE!  HE'S SO STOOPID N FUZZY!

....um....you can check it out here.  Um...you know if you want...I mean I don't care or anything...it's just a dumb cat....ssstoopid (squeals).  

At Least Now I know Why I Can't Get a Job

So apparently some recruiter has been told specifically not to send employers candidates who play Warcraft.  You can find the details here on Geekologie.  Pretty interesting.  Pretty annoying.

I mean first of all, isn't that a little discriminatory?  I get that you don't want assclowns that won't work hard and stuff, but please.  JUST Warcraft?  Come on.  What about people who can't leave social networking sites or youtube alone?  Hmmmm?  Solitaire anyone?  And anyone can stay up too late and have their sleep patterns messed up.   People watch late night talk shows, go out and drink too late or stay up knitting all night (I'm looking at you, Hyde).

This amuses me mostly because my question is this:  WHY would this even come up in an interview unless someone specifically asked "do you play Warcraft?"?  I mean what kind of toolbag sits down and tells their potential employer about their geeky vices?  I suppose if you do, you deserve to not get hired.  I can just imagine that interview - "well yes I was top of my class at Harvard Business School, I single handedly invented the dollar sign and in my spare time I'm a level 75 feral specced Night Elf Druid and Guild officer in the guild 'Spooge Yer Face.'"

Baffling.

Oh and in other Warcraft news, some of you may remember when my guild split up and I was totally devastated and all that crap and since then haven't had a home, well we're back together!  Sort of.  All the cool kids finally started their own and since they're all my bffs I'm an officer again.  Ah it's so NICE to finally be able to sign on and have thirty five people greet you with exclamation points and LOLs again.

....hehe...too geeky? 

EPIC SHUDDER

Ew.   EW.  EW!  ZOMG.  EW.   Some baby was born with his twin forming in his brain or some horrific sci fi shit.  Anyway the baby is fine....but will his soul be okay when he finds out his dead brother Lenny was literally living in his head?

Check it here.   

PS.  EW. 

First I Had to do Laundry, Now This?!

Today is just all around suck.  I had to do laundry, I can't bring myself to clean anything else in my apartment, I spent the day applying to jobs that I'm painfully overqualified for AND I found this website.

Humane Watch is apparently an organization sponsored or whatever by Consumer Freedon and they are now out to get The Humane Society.  This is the same group, or at the very least is being funded by the same group that exposed all the shitty facts about PETA that made me hate PETA with a fiery passion.

So far it looks like they're doing an ongoing investigation and to be honest I couldn't find one single real fact on their site that would make me turn against my beloved Humane Society.  Speculation?  Rumors?  Sure.  But no hard evidence of any wrong doing.  Not to mention, I have heard from several people and have also come to the same conclusion that the Center for Consumer Freedom or whatever is a shill for the meat industry.  That being said - just to clear the record the facts they unearthed about PETA happened to be well documented, hard numbers and legal documents.  Real facts.  And it's passages like the following that send my red flag up and make me think Humane Watch and Consumer Freedom have a seriously shady agenda:

Instead, HSUS spends millions on programs that seek to economically cripple meat and dairy producers; eliminate the use of animals in biomedical research labs; phase out pet breeding, zoos, and circus animal acts; and demonize hunters as crazed lunatics. HSUS spends $2 million each year on travel expenses alone, just keeping its multi-national agenda going.

The use of the words "seek to economically CRIPPLE meat and dairy producers" and "DEMONIZE hunters" let's me know what side these folks are really on.  And it's not the animals' side.

That being said, I'm nervous.  What if they really do come up with some hard evidence that places The Humane Society in a sketchy light?  I will be crushed.  Because I figure if I can't trust HSUS, who can I trust?  This makes me a Sadpie.

I guess the only thing I would really be interested in knowing for sure is the money information - where it goes, how it's used and if it's really being wasted.

Aside from that, The Humane Society, unlike PETA is not a radical, violent cult.  They are not militant and they genuinely do wonderful things for animals.   The list of what they've accomplished this year alone, speaks for itself.

So thanks a lot, day.  You know what this is like?  This is like having an awesome uncle and then one day you have some weird dream about him molesting you as a child and you start to wonder if he actually did molest you as a child and then you realize that you were totally just dreaming but now the image of him is totally marred in your mind forever.  Yup.  Good old Uncle Humane Society.  FUCK OFF, DECEMBER 16th 2008!!!   

Nutrisystem Update

 

So I've been on Nutrisystem now for a little over a week and I'm happy to say that for the most part, most of the food is not only edible but quite tasty.  I could do without the veggie fajita which made me frow up in my mouf.  But everything else is at least palatable....and small.  Which I get.  It's teaching you the correct portion sizes, but wow.  Turns out I've been eating like Jabba the Hut all these years. 

As far as the weight loss goes it's....slow goings...or not goings as the case may be.  But it's early yet - too early to get discouraged....or at least I keep telling myself that.  This weekend was rough and I blew it a little (beers, eggs, cheeses and breads to feed a small army). 

But I shall not be defeated!  Very soon I shall be purchasing my treadmill and I will drop those pesky twenty pounds like a bad habit....no....like a bowling ball that's on fire.  Yeah!

Look. It's Monday. You Deserve A Treat.

There is video all over the place of this kitty, Maru being obsessed with boxes.  As if that weren't cute enough, Maru is a fat, stoopid faced kitteh with stubby legs.  Enjoy.

Really? Ball Buster?

I'm pretty sure this was a real game.  And I'm pretty sure it was awesome.

The Man Man Awards

All this talk about Kyle Reese in Terminator got me thinking about what an awesome character that was.  I mean really.  He was the hero and I think a lot of people forget about him because of the whole Ahhnold thing.  But let's just take a look at Kyle Reese.  Not Michael Beihn, mind you.  We're not talking about the real person.  We're talking about the character of Kyle Reese.  Michael is awesome in his own right, having spurred a serious crush in my nerdy youth (it still stands today).  But Kyle Reese was manly as hell and there's no denying it. 

And so I have created the Man Man Awards to recognize those awesome men (movie characters included - indeed probably mostly) that fit very precise criteria.  The Man Man Award will go to those men who I have deemed to excel in the following categories:

• They kick ass - in whatever way.  Badassery is a must.
• They're sexy - Also important.  Man Man Awards will not go to any person who is incapable of creating "tingles."
• They're sensitive with the ladies - ah yes, the true test of any Man Man, that he can turn on a dime from his gruff, hard exterior and make ladies swoon with his sudden gentle gaze or some epic emotional admittance that exposes his vulnerability.
• Brains - No Man Man is a dumb piece of meat.

And so I give you, Kyle Reese - the very first recipient of the Badpie 2009 Man Man Awards.

   

And because some fan-girl (not me) apparently made a "tribute" video for him, I have also included it.  Oh wow.  LOL.  Well at least it uses music from The Terminator instead of fucking "I Will Always Love You" or some shit.  Enjoy.

A Good Year for Animals

This year,  The Humane Society accomplished some great things.  Here is a video about it.  And because it's Christmas time, I'm totally reminding you, as a gift to the universe to maybe make a little donation to a charity of your choice.  I'll be doing this, the ASPCA and Nothing But Nets.  You can find the links to all of them on the left.  Happy holidays!  Enjoy this inspirational video!

Kyle Reese Better Get His Ass Here Right Quick

Okay.  Now I don't wanna alarm anyone here.  We should all just remain calm, really.  I mean the worst thing we could possibly do is panic right?  I mean we are YEARS away from the kind of tehnology that can become self aware and destroy us all, right?  I mean so what?  There's a robot that can taste things and some that can hunt down humans like dogs.  And sure there's a guy who made some cute little robot soldiers and some robots have a knack for stealing children, but we're safe right?  Right?  

I mean we're like so many years away from creating any sort of human-looking, life-like, thinking, feeling, decision making kind of real robot that will one day turn on us and make us all dead.....right?

GUESS AGAIN MOTHERFUCKERS!  Some assclown Japanese guy from Canada (?) is fucking with your very future and getting away with it.     Le Trung, or as I like to call him, "Assy McSkynet" has created Aiko, a beautiful, lifelike Japanese robot gal who can do chores, balance his checkbook, read the paper to his grandmother, register pain and eventually destroy us all.  Here is a video of how your death will come to you.  In the form of a 20-something Japanese school girl.  Enjoy.  Or run.  Either way.

Anyone else think the next logical progression after "You hurt me, why did you do that?" is "now you shall die?"  Anyone?

Penguin Win!

Now This is Something Special

This dude was Dlisted's Hot Slut of the Day and now I know why.  After watching the magical video below, I have fallen under his spell - the Can't Tell if this was Made in the 80's or Today Spell.  Also, there are fireworks and girls in leather.