Badpie Bakery

I May Never Sleep Again

Last night I watched an amazing documentary on Jonestown.  And I'm just gonna start this post by saying, sorry to bring the party down and get all serious, but it was incredible.  I learned things about the whole thing that I never knew.  Actually I never really knew all that much about Jonestown at all except that here's this crazy guy and a bunch of brainwashed followers in this suicide cult.

Imagine my surprise to learn that was totally wrong.  Actually, the People's Temple was less like a religion and more of a social and political movement.  It was very progressive, very all inclusive, did amazing things to battle racism and influence immigration laws.  Jim Jones was actually kind of a brilliant man.  He even won a humanitarian award.  In fact, the more I learned about this movement, the more I thought to myself that I could see myself having gotten involved in something just like it.  The people of Jonestown were not brainwashed, zombie-like blind followers as I thought.  Because it's easy to reconcile the deaths of 909 people if it's a "mass suicide" of "crazy cult members" etc.  But they weren't.  They were families, normal people and the point of this documentary was to reveal how little of the mass suicide was ACTUALLY suicide.  How people were held there against their will at the whim of Jim Jones, who essentially went mad, and how many people during this event were injected at gun point with the cyanide and forced to follow this crazed man into death.

The video footage in this documentary is so haunting.  But not the images of the aftermath.  The things that I cannot get out of my head are the videos of the faces and people living there.  Videos people at the community took, news footage, audio tape (including a recording of the last few minutes when Jones orders the mass suicide, which is CHILLING).

I know most people won't get a chance to see this, but if you do, watch it.  It's fantastic and informative and amazing and truly one of the saddest stories I have ever heard.

Here is the preview, which features many former members of the temple, some of whom were able to escape as it was happening, but had to watch their families and friends die.

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So You Think You Can Post Annoying Videos of People Dancing?

YES!  Yes I can!  Thank you for asking!  To be fair it's been two weeks since I've even mentioned So You Think You Can Dance .... Mostly because our cable was shut off, but still.  Anyway, last night had a couple of really great routines (do I sound like a tween yet?) and I have posted them here.  Thanks in large part to MJ's Big Blog, which seems to be the best place to get these videos.  

Anyhoo, here they are.  Again, the actual dancing doesn't start for a couple minutes in, so make yourself a cocktail, come back and then say things like "whaaaat?"  "woah!" and "What the EFF!?" when people do cool things.... I'll wait......  Okay great. 

Welcome back.

Here's....okay I don't remember their names, but this first one was my favorite routine from last week.  Might have had something to do with the song, (Eyes on Fire, by Blue Foundation) but I loved it.

The second is a classical ballet.  And I think I must be a chick, because even though I don't even really LIKE ballet, it never fails to make me misty.  Just visually brilliant.

manda 14 @ Yahoo! Video

This Produced a Chuckle

This dude is called Bro Franklin.  All you need to know is that he is SUPER EXCITED about giving his offering to his church.   SUPER EXCITED!  Thanks, Dlisted.

Sweet Jebus! A Bolivia Bug!

Oh my sweet hell, this is weird.  Here is a video of a Bolivia Bug.  Don't know what it is?  Wikipedia can help you.

The moth Megalopyge opercularis has numerous common names, including southern flannel moth, pussy moth, puss caterpillar, tree asp, and, asp caterpillar. It is visually striking in both larval and adult forms. The inch-long larva is generously coated in long, luxuriant hair-like setae, making it resemble a tiny Persian cat, the characteristic that presumably gave it the name "puss." It is variable in color, from downy grayish-white to golden-brown to dark charcoal gray. It often has a streak of bright orange running longitudinally. The 'fur' on early-stage larvae is sometimes extremely curly, giving the larva a cottony, puffed-up look. The body tapers to a tail that extends well beyond the body, unlike its relative M. crispata (Wagner 2005). The middle instar has a more dishevelled, 'bad-hair-day' appearance, without a distinctive tail.

PUSSY MOTH!  I can't decide if I want to pet it or run screaming from it!  Oh.  Nevermind.

The 'fur' of the larva contains venomous spines that cause extremely painful reactions in human skin upon contact. The reactions are sometimes localized to the affected area but are often very severe, radiating up a limb and causing burning, swelling, nausea, headache, abdominal distress, rashes, blisters, and sometimes chest pain, numbness, or difficulty breathing (Eagleman 2008). Additionally, it is not unusual to find sweating from the welts or hives at the site of the sting.

Anyway here's the video.  It's all kinds of otherwordly.

That's A Lot for One Week

Friends.  I'm totally bummed.  That might be an understatement. 

Slowly over the years, as I get older, bits and pieces of my childhood have been disappearing.  Most of these disappearing acts take the place of icons that were big during my formative years.  However it's usually one here, another a year later, etc.

I think it's safe to say that the past week has kind of sucked when it comes to celebrity death.  First Ed McMahon, who has been a household name for decades.  Then Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with anal cancer and the world's hair got a little less feathered.  Both of these made me sad.

And then the kicker.  Michael Jackson is dead.  I'm not even really sure I just typed that.  Michael Jackson is dead.  The 80s pop scene is dead.  The Smooth Criminal has DIED from apparent cardiac arrest at the age of 50.

Now I know Mike was a strange one.  He was all kinds of creepy hell and was possibly...probably a child toucher, but that doesn't mean he didn't mold my youth in a big way.

Michal pretty much revolutionized the music scene in the 1908s.  More than that, when I was younger, I'm not gonna lie.  I had a serious crush on him.  Especially in the smooth criminal zoot suit (that shit was sharp).

I'm just SO SAD about this.  I mean Michael Jackson!  Dead! He was truly an ethereal being of light and I hope his little plastic face and creamy, naturally ivory skin land in heaven where he can pretend he is a little boy for all eternity.   That may have been the creepiest sentence I've ever written by the way.

Farewell, Ed, Farrah and Mike.  And farewell another little chunk of my childhood.

All the Single Ladies...

Ladies, are you single?  Are you a goddess? Do you realize that sacred sexual union is crucial for manifesting the Global Vision?  Are you by no means a Scientologist?  Then prepare to meet the MAN OF YOUR DREAMS!

This dashing young fellow is Mark.  And he is searching for his goddess.  Could that be you?  Do you see far beyond the "normal" level of thinking?  Do you enjoy Tantric sex with a Tantra master who does not ejaculate "except on rare occasions"?  Then sign up at this website!

Mark has listed in very extreme detail all of the qualifications for the goddess he wouuld like to spend the rest of his life with.  He could be perfect for YOU.  After all.  He has a "Global Vision."

Here are just a few of the most interesting tidbits you will find on his website:

If she has been a prostitute, that is GOOD!! We can discuss it at length. I have written a book (not yet published) entitled, Resurrecting the Innocence in Prostitutes. Fascinating topic! And it's an important part of my Global Vision.

I am intensely chivalrous, and, if you date me, you are required to respond to my chivalry as a LADY. You are the GIRL. ...It means that when I offer you flowers and gifts, you accept them graciously.... you should have empty vases in your home.

I am on the brink of a large-scale financial success that many people believe will escalate me, over the next decade, from member of the middle class—to billionaire.

When she gets angry or hurt or sad or upset, it does not last too long.... or, if it is lasting, she turns inward and works on herself until she finds peace again.

She understands that the elite tyrants have reached an advanced state in the systematic imposition of their so-called "authority" onto the population of the entire world, and that the goal of the tyrants is nothing short of enslaving the masses by means of (1) the "authority" of government officials who are puppets of the tyrants (since the Civil War, most U.S. Presidents and Vice Presidents, and most members of Congress, have been puppets—both major political parties in the U.S. are controlled by the tyrants), and (2) marketplace and media domination by corporate giants that are controlled by the tyrants.

The lady I seek somehow KNOWS deep down inside that if she surrenders herself to the right man and is worshipped by him as a Goddess in just the right way, she can move mountains.... she can move the whole world! She WANTS to make this sexual magic happen and to bless the world with the resulting miracles.

Television. I don't watch television except for about 1-2 hours per year when circumstances require it. I stopped watching TV in 1970 and am unfamiliar with most post-1970 programming. I dislike the energy of most of what gets broadcast, and it is far worse now than it was in the 1960s (back when I watched a lot of TV). Television news broadcasts are largely propaganda. I have saved YEARS of time by avoiding TV. However, when we launch our own TV show (which will have very different energy), I will watch every episode.

You simply must visit the site to really get a grasp on the catch of a man that is Mark.  So if you're happy with the possiblity of being skinned on your first date or at least leered at oddly, give this guy an email.  There's a whole application process and a wickedly awesome "prayer" at the bottom of his page.  Do yourself a favor and go to this site.

Thanks be to Kate, who is the goddess of MY life for showing this fabulous piece of insanity to me today.

I'm Done.

Now, you're all just fucking with me.  Here's proof that there is a God and he wants you to suffer.  You can't snuggle this.  You just can't.  It's a picture.  God hates you.

Baby Horsey Faces

Well folks.  It happened.  According to WTRF, our little Martins Ferry Hospital has just become the birthplace to Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick's twins, pictured at right here.  As you can see, the one on the left unfortunately takes after her mother.  This is like, the biggest news story in the area right now isn't it?  Sad.  And apparently SJP and her theater gay husband are clomping around inside the hospital gathering sugar cubes and carrots for their new bundles of joy.

 MARTINS FERRY, OHIO -- Sources close to East Ohio Regional Hospital in Martins Ferry confirm for 7 News that the surrogate mother for Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick gave birth to twins this morning.

Sources tell 7 News Reporter Dave Elias that Parker and Broderick are at the hospital with the surrogate.

We are also learning that Parker and Broderick are expected to make some type of announcement before they leave the hospital.

However, Hospital Spokesperson Maggie Espina would not confirm or deny our reports. She would only say that the hospital has no comment at this time.

Security at the hospital is tight this morning. We're told additional guards have been brought in and even more are on standby, if needed, as this story is expected to get national attention.

Well...congrats to the new parents.  May you all gallop safely into the sunset.  Preferably without the aid of my hometown police chief, who would probably just try to gather your babies' fingers to sell to the tabloids. 

I Love You, Paint

This temp gig I'm working is hella boring, so in order to kill some time, I've been making "art" on the Paint program.  You're already seen my stroke of genius in the piece with the S.S. Chiggle.  Now, here is a moon pigeon.  Don't ask.  It's based on some horrible one-act I just saw in NYC.  Tee hee.

Two Years Down, Fifty-Something to Go

Today marks the two year anniversary of my marriage, and while I'd rather not get all sappy and talk about how awesome my husband is, I suppose I should at least throw it out there that he is, indeed, a pretty amazing man.

And we have a pretty great marriage.  So even with any drama that may occur, we can at least be sure that we love each other and are both willing to put in the hard work (sometimes exasperatingly hard) to make our partnership work for as long as possible (preferably that whole "as long as you both shall live" thing).

It's teamwork, incredibly brutal honesty, friendship and lots of laughter that make a partnership like ours work, and while it may not always be candy and roses, it's real and it's beautiful.  For instance just the other day I turned to Matt and said "You know, I really appreciate that sometimes you make little adjustments before I know just because you know I can be kind of a bitch."  And he appreciates a lot of ridiculous things about me. 

Mostly we're very good at putting up with the little things that bug us.  He loses his keys and cell phone all the time, I roll my eyes and snap at him a lot, his side of the bed is a mess, I rarely do the dishes, sometimes he forgets to flush, I leave clumps of my hair in the shower drain, etc. etc.  But there's nothing we wouldn't do for each other, and nothing that could break up our team.

So happy anniversary, Matt.  Thanks for putting up with my crap.  And hooray!  I think we beat some sort of statistic or something already!  We are awesome.  :)

Noms for Poopies and Fizzes

The Animal Rescue Site is a place where if you click, sponsors donate food or money for food for shelter animals.  That's it.  It's that simple.  Put it on  your to do list at least once a day.  You don't give out email or personal info or money or anything.  You just click.  And then stoopid fuzzy faces gets nibbles to nom and is happy.  

Apparently the site is really hurting for your clicks so go now!

Thanks, Doug! 

Yeah. This Pretty Much Sums it Up.

Be Still My Heart

<GASP!>  It's Beans!  Here he is again! ...hooray?  Thanks LATFH.

 

"BEEEEANNNS SHIIIIIIIIIIIINEYYYYY."

Wonderfalls

My mother recently got us the entire series of Wonderfalls on DVD.  She did this because it was created and written by some of the folks involved with Pushing Daisies prior to them doing Pushing Daisies.  And my mother is retarded for Pushing Daisies.  No really.  She's a total nut job when it comes to that show.  She was beyond furious when it was cancelled.  So because she had no Pushing Daisies she needed something else done by these people (It's kind of like going from one drug you can't get anymore to another that you can).

I sort of remembered this show, which aired only five or six episodes of its whole thirteen in 2004.  I seemed to remember it being cute, so on my mother's insistence I watched it.

The show centres on Jaye Tyler (Caroline Dhavernas), a recent Brown University graduate with a philosophy degree, who holds a dead-end job as a sales clerk at a Niagara Falls gift shop. Jaye is the reluctant participant in conversations with various animal figurines — a wax lion, brass monkey, stuffed bear, and mounted fish, among others — which direct her via oblique instructions to help people in need. Source

I kind of love it.  There is the same kind of whimsy that you'll find in Pushing Daisies only with a smaller budget and less of a fairytale atmosphere.  The show itself actually exhibits a rather dark sense of humor, which I always appreciate.

There are the usual things that one might find in a show that got cancelled early on.  Some of the writing was a little sloppy and some of the dialogue was a bit forced.  Occasionally you get the sense that the show is trying to do too many genres at once, but I honestly didn't care.  I thoroughly enjoyed every episode.  It's one I'd recommend to you all.  So...here I am...recommending.

Thanks Mom.

Here's about 10 minutes of the first episode.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I Give You...Beans.

Look at This Fucking Hipster  is one of my favorite blogs.  I hate hipsters with a firey passion.  I hate them almost as much as I hate cancer.  In fact I hate them so much I think we should change their name from "hipster" to "cancer."  That's how much I hate hipsters.  While going through all the many posts today and catching up since I hadn't been there in awhile.  I keep coming across one recurring dude on different days with different captions.  I think I'm in love.  With Beans.  Here are a few of the random entries that feature him.

 

“Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sorry to interrupt whatever kind of stupid street fair this is, but I need your attention for one moment. I’ve lost my little brother. I was over there buying a gyro and, while my back was turned, he simply dissapeared. So, if everyone could please just keep an eye out for my brother. His name is Russell, but everyone calls him ‘Beans’ for short.  He kind of looks like me, but with longer hair and a bigger beard. Oh, and he doesn’t wear glasses. Actually, he doesn’t wear much of anything. Basically, you should all be looking for a big fat dude wearing little boy’s underwear and hightop sneakers. Beeeeeaaaaans! Beans, wheeeere aaaaare yoooou?”

 

 

"BBEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNSS!!!!"

 

 

"BEEEEEANNNS  FOOOOCCCCUUUSSSSSSSSSED."

 

There you have it, folks.  The new man of my dreams.